33

"A man told me to beware of 33.
He said, "It was not an easy time for me" but I'll get through even though
I've got no miracles to show you."--Jarvis Cocker of Pulp, Dishes


Today's my 33rd birthday.

I don't have anything big planned. Not for this one. I'll be going to work. And afterwards I'm heading to Tapas Teatro next to The Charles for a big Spanish paella. Later, I'll be catching 'Snakes On A Plane' right next door.

I'm doing all this by my lonesome self. No company. I didn't bother to tell my friends. I'm doing it all alone because I think that for my 33rd birthday, I want to reassert my independence. That I can be out there, alone, and enjoy myself. That I can make things happen... by myself.

It's become painfully obvious to me this summer that this is the way I will have to do things.. as a filmmaker, as a writer, as an artist, as a man--by myself.

I won't go into details, but it looks like I'm no longer involved with Project S, a promising horror feature film I had been producing for the past year. The sudden collapse of this project has forced me to reasses my priorities... for the better.

In other fronts of my life, it looks like I'm the most motivated person I know. Of late, I seem to be on fire about making films, learning more about the craft... and just plainly, make things happen.

I have such a confidence in myself these days. I like this direction. My instincts are telling me I'm right. I feel sad for the people I seem to be leaving behind, but I have to march on.

Now, if I could find a good woman? But that's fine too--not having someone special. I'm determined to be a filmmaker even if I must walk this world alone. Film's my passion. Film's my religion. It's my life.

Let me get some sleep... I'm sure to not be cut any slack at work tommorrow despite my birthday. I shall relax big time afterwards.